So for almost 20 years I’ve been traveling on a bumpy street
in our county called Douglas Road. I
have no idea what town it resides in, but I think it straddles the border of two towns, and here’s why I think this is the case:
First, Douglas Road is a long, very narrow street with many
large trees planted right up against the crumbling pavement. There’s barely enough room for two cars
traveling in opposite directions to safely pass each other. But what makes this situation over the top challenging
is that one side of the road has been paved recently, the other side has
not. The westbound lane looks more like
the pot-holed remnant of a bombing raid.
Thinking what’s the big deal? Here’s the big deal: we live with a number of
knuckleheads in our society. These
knuckleheads have decided that as much as this is the United States of America
and we drive on the right side of the road, they will be driving on the
smoothly paved side of Douglas Road, no matter what direction they’re driving
in. It appears they’re always in a
hurry and can drive faster and without significant damage to their cars if they
drive on the paved side of the road.
Naturally, this is not a big deal if nobody is coming in the
opposite direction. Unfortunately, with
the population explosion in Somerset County, this is rarely the situation. Case in point, I’m driving on Douglas Road
with my son in our minivan…on the right side of the road. I’m enjoying the smooth pavement, snickering
at the unwashed folks traveling in the opposite direction. But then up ahead, I spot one of the said
“knuckleheads.” He’s barreling down the
road at us, traveling at what appears to be Mach 17. He’s in our lane, but I’m not concerned, as I
understand the knucklehead mentality. Unless
I’m very unlucky, he wants to live too. As
the distance between our cars narrows, it’s becoming clear that this moron
wants his half of the road in the middle.
There is a short game of chicken, which, with my son in the car became
very short, as I’d have a tough time explaining to my wife the decision process
I went through that landed my son in the hospital. (I was right and he was wrong just wouldn’t
cut it.)
So I veer off the road, send a number of mailboxes into
orbit and lose my side view mirror. Knucklehead,
without stopping, continues driving away…on the left side of the road. As luck would have it, I caught a “break” at
the body shop. I was informed that the side
view mirror I lost is the most expensive one that Toyota makes – Just Lovely.
I know our county and the towns within it are strapped for
cash. But maybe our leaders could start
a “Go Fund Me” web site and collect the required monies to pave the road before
something tragic happens - Like Toyota running out of side view mirrors.
