Over the years I’ve tested out a number of volunteering opportunities. I tried Habitat for Humanity for a week. They have great people and are an excellently run organization. But I came to the conclusion that putting dangerously powerful tools in my hands in conjunction with scary amounts of electricity clearly was not the best idea for me. It would be like sitting in front of a bowl of Nitro and looking across the table, seeing a pitcher of Glycerin and saying, I think mixing these two would be a superb idea. I also volunteered at St. Hubert’s Animal Welfare Center for a few months. St. Hubert’s is another wonderfully run organization doing the work of a higher power. There are many ways you can volunteer at St. Huberts. You just need to keep in mind, not everyone gets to work in the puppy pen. That and you might have an issue if your spouse continually pressures you to bring home new pets.
After a bit of trial and error, I’ve settled on a volunteering opportunity that suits me well. Last year as I was leafing though my AARP magazine, I saw a small, almost hidden advertisement from the New Jersey AARP Speaker’s Bureau. They were looking for storytellers…I mean presenters. After getting over my fear of being responsible for leading our senior citizens astray when it comes to their Social Security and Medicare benefits, I signed up. When presenting for AARP, you cannot modify their scripts. Bad things can potentially happen if you do – think lawsuits. But you can embellish your presentations with your own personal stories that relate to the topic. Read – open season for Steve. On a more serious note, I read a very handy formula for figuring out where to volunteer and how to get motivated to do it. “People serve when their passion meets their discipline at a moment of opportunity.” In my case, I had a passion for storytelling. One of my disciplines is public speaking (or at least it used to be.) All it took was an opportunity, which presented itself in an AARP magazine ad.
The three presentations I usually do are: Medicare 101, Downsizing & Decluttering -You can’t take it with you, and the Six Pillars of Brain Health. The latter presentation being the one I have the most personal experience with, or lack thereof. For instance, quite often I’ll take a short stroll to check on the laundry. On the way though, for whatever reason my brain goes out to lunch and I happen to notice there’s a tumbleweed of dog hair on the floor. Something clicks and I decide, “I better get the vacuum cleaner out and address that untenable situation.” As I’m vacuuming, I’ll notice a bill that needs be paid. Well I can’t leave that alone. And then I’m off to the races. I eventually grab that pile of wrinkles out of the dryer a day or two later. I’m told that this kind of activity is somewhat normal, not a sign of impending doom. Now if I leave the house, get in my car and drive off looking for my home, then I have a problem. And the current wisdom on how to address my affliction is to stay focused and practice self-talk as you’re doing activities. Something like, “Hey Einstein, remember you got up for a reason and the bathroom was it.” (But really, is this what it’s come to? I have to start talking to myself? But isn’t that a sign I have dementia?) Well as inspirational speaker, Tony Robbins espouses in one of his mantras “Where Focus Goes Energy Flows”. Truer words…
During my presentations, my wife usually becomes my foil. It’s a lot of good-natured fun and I really don’t mind sleeping at the local Best Western motel. One more punch of my BW loyalty card and I get a free night. I’m convinced I should have been an arctic explorer because I’m constantly skating on thin ice.
So the other day I was presenting to about 50 women. As I stared out at the crowd, in an uncommon moment of brilliance I thought to myself, "maybe these ladies aren’t going to find you quite as funny as you think you are."
The topic on that day was Downsizing and Decluttering. This presentation is right in my wheelhouse, I know it backwards and forwards. But I did have some technical issues getting my nine year old laptop connected to their large gangly display system. Seems the Xfinity cable service installed at the facility decided that I wanted to sign up for their special offer. Xfinity was continually taking over my screen with alerts that flummoxed my presentation. Being that I’m technically inept, this became mountains of fun. But the presentation gods were smiling on me. Just before show time, my eeny, meeny, miny moe method of troubleshooting succeeded, without throwing my laptop through a window. Now the real fun begins. I’m 60 seconds into my talk and I have a massive brain fart. I forgot a significant line in the presentation. And I can’t go forward because the line I misplaced in the far reaches of my gray matter is what sets up the rest of the presentation. I’m standing up there like a deer in the headlights. Inside my head I’m furiously thinking, “What the…heck? This is not happening to me now!” I’m okay if it happens in the comfort of my own home, like when I’m hungry and I forget why I went into the kitchen. (Side benefit to this move: I get to unnerve and scare the you know what out of my wife and kids.) But here, right now during a presentation – Not Cool! So after what felt like standing silently for two hours in front of the United Nations Security Council, I looked at the group and said, “You should see me do the Six Pillars of Brain Health presentation. I kill that one!” Oddly, as soon as I said that, the line I was trying to remember came screaming back to me and the uncontrollable pounding in my chest subsided.
P.S. – AARP also an excellent organization.
