As if air travel wasn’t challenging enough, some of us, including those on the 2,000 USA flights that were cancelled on July 19th were treated to a rude awakening. As much as Artificial Intelligence is simultaneously going to destroy us and enable us to reach new heights, it couldn’t save any of us on July 19th.
So after another attempt at flyfishing, we’re driving back to Salt Lake City airport from the northwest corner of Utah. It’s about a three and a half hour drive. But first, a quick painful flyfishing story: I have all new microscopic leader on the end of my fly line. Naturally, someone else put it on as tying knots is not my thing. Before we leave for the river, I masterfully attach a sumptuous fly (a massive black Mormon Cricket the size of Nevada) to the very tip of my line and use my handy dandy clipper to remove the excess line. You see you need to remove the excess line because these are exceptionally intelligent fish - think brain food. If you leave excess line near your fly, the trout will have none of it. No AI here, these fish learn the old-fashioned way, trial and error. As we’re fishing and I’ve endured a commensurate amount of angst, it becomes clear that my fly is not as enticing as I thought it was. Time to change the fly. I come to realize I can’t find my clipper, I must have left it back at the cabin. So I yank off my fly, again the old-fashioned way. And with the assistance of Walgreen’s Foster Grants, I’m able to thread the microscopic tip of my line through a submicroscopic hole in my new tiny fly…that had to be constructed using an atomic microscope. Okay, new knot has been tied and a minimal amount of four letter words have been disbursed. I need to clip off the excess line stemming from my new knot. Without my clippers I need to resort to using my teeth to remove the excess line…much like Huckleberry Finn would do. As I attempt to chomp down on the excess line, I feel the point of my new fly hook piercing my lower lip. Luckily there were no carnivores in sight. {Note: We get back to the cabin that night, I take off my fly vest and find my clippers in a small top pocket of the vest. Who said life is fair?;-}
On the way back to the airport we pass what had to be the port-a-potty capital of the world. Being that I had just relinquished my own front yard garden variety port-a-potty during a 12 week kitchen renovation, I felt an earned appreciation for this sea of equipment on display for all to see. Heated seats, huckleberry scenting, built in stereos, they had it all. Add a microwave and you have a very tiny house. It was about the time we were passing this amazing display of hi-tech equipment that the radio alerted us about a snafu in the technology that our global airline industry uses. At first I was nonchalant about the news, thinking, “Oh too bad for them.” Whoever them is. Then my iPhone buzzed with an alert from my airline and I quickly realized I was one of them. The message: Due to circumstances beyond our control, your flight will be delayed two hours. I’ve learned over the years that a message like that means, we have no idea how long you’ll be camped out at the airport…make yourself comfortable.
It seems that a security company named, Crowdstrike and Microsoft had a finger pointing contest trying to decide who was responsible for allowing a revision of new software to flummox the global airline industry. And when it happened, all the king’s horses and all the king’s men…and all the king’s AI bots, couldn’t get humpty back up and running again. At least not right away. For more years than I’d like to admit to, I worked in the technology field. One of the scariest times was when we were forced to upgrade a customer’s code before it was fully baked. Invariably, horrendously bad things would happen and the lashing received from my customer would leave permanent scares. I remember during one such occasion we thought we caught the bug in the new code that had just crashed their world. Upon suggesting we try it again, my customer looked me sternly in the eyes and said, “I’d rather be lit on fire than try that again.”
Back at Salt Lake City Airport, an angry mob of potential flyers is waiting around our new gate. The captain for our flight arrives and begins to address the mob, many of which have started lighting torches. I liken the scene to an old Frankenstein movie where the townsfolk are surrounding the castle where the monster is hanging out. The good doctor comes out trying to convince the crowd that has much as the monster has ripped off a couple of heads, he’s really a nice guy once you get to know him. Actually the captain did a very nice job of clearly explaining the situation and that it wasn’t his fault, this time. He went on to explain that we do have a plane and it does have fuel and he knows how to fly it to Newark, NJ. People seemed to calm down and I was thinking of asking him if he’d like to run for President.
It was a smooth flight home; we made up some time and land with no problems. Spirits were high. As we’re taxiing to the new, state of the art Terminal A, with it’s bazillion available gates, the head flight attendant gets on the PA system and asks that anyone who does not have a connecting flight to hold your horses and let those running to a connecting flight to pass. All of these stressed out people are lined up in the aisle ready to bolt. As we pull into our gate, we’re all cheering them on with words of encouragement. You could smell the good karma wafting in the air. Then, as luck would have it, someone lit a stink bomb and we waited 20 minutes for someone to connect the jetway to the plane and open the door. And with that, pop goes the karma balloon!
So maybe the taking off, tracking, and the landing of aircraft is not the area we should cut back on as if these peoples’ jobs are akin to those who flip burgers at McDonalds. For the last year I’ve noticed that “no gate available” and “no people to man the jetway” are neck and neck delays. And just because in preparation for one of my flights this year, where the pilot ran our plane into the jetway… this should not raise a red flag…especially if you have laser focus watching the bottom line. In the not so distant future I can see the airline industry’s new motto will be, “Safety Second!”
