Today’s post is a cautionary set of space age tales, loosely tied together, that drive home the need to ensure your life insurance is up to snuff. I was recently on a plane flight from Newark to SoCal - well I eventually got on the plane. I partially blame myself because I wasn’t thinking when I chose an early afternoon flight. The mega computer system that tracks flights says that mid-day flights have the least number of on-time departures and I became proof positive of that statistic. Lots of stuff can go sideways throughout the day. Ensuring that you have a working plane and someone to fly said plane for hours is a big part of that stuff. So it’s now late afternoon and the captain of our proposed flight is waiting amongst the unwashed. (We the passengers being the unwashed.) I notice our captain is leaning against a wall and he’s yawning, a lot. He looks to be about my age, which is kind of scary as I belong to the Legion of AARP. I’m hoping that the coffee they’ll be serving him shortly will be of the jolt variety. I know if it were me, I’d be bobbing for flies ten minutes after takeoff so I have to give him a lot of credit. As you can imagine, I do not get a lot of asks for driving folks anywhere – Not everything about being a card-carrying senior is bad.
These days, adding to the normal flight situation (ten pounds of airplanes in a five pound airport) we have a national air transportation system that is literally disintegrating beneath us. So much for air travel being the safest way to go. Picture yourself simultaneously guiding ten massive jets into Newark Airport. Then out of nowhere, you lose complete contact with them. You quickly ask your coworker if he has an extra dose of Imodium AD you can borrow. And then after such incidents, like two in a row, we’re quickly reminded by anyone responsible that this problem of disintegrating equipment and lack of personnel has been an issue since the Lincoln administration. And like any good politician, Abe kicked the can down the runway whining about a civil war that needed to be funded.
Similarly, our current politicians complain about the Social Security administration which runs on vintage computer systems that are akin to an abacus. Their solution: Fire a good chunk of staff, buy a lot of duct tape to hold things together and hope for the best. Unfortunately for our country’s air travelers, nobody in multiple administrations wanted to fork over the millions to modernize the technical systems or hire the appropriate number of air traffic controllers. At this point, the analogy I’d give is that it’s like the brakes on your family car are no longer operational. Still, you have to get to work every day. Your solution: Have your wife and kids drive with you and when you need to stop, everyone sticks their legs out their doors and hope the car slows down enough to avoid an embarrassing accident, one that would look bad in the press. But not to worry, we may not have the money to properly feed or care for our less affluent children, or rebuild our ancient air control system, but by golly we do have plenty of riches to fund a massive tax break for the ultra-wealthy – All is right in the world. (P.S. Generally speaking, the cost of maintenance on old computer systems far outweighs the cost of new state of the art technology. The problem is the cost of new systems, a capital purchase, hits the wrong budget code.)
But there is hope. Sean Duffy, our new Transportation Secretary and ex reality TV all-star, (actually one of his shows was, Road Rules: All Stars) was recently interviewed by FOX news and he said the following (I’m paraphrasing here), “There are hundreds of small failures each week that go unnoticed. It’s frightening for people, but again we have backups for that. (I believe the primary backup is keeping your fingers crossed. That and a bulk discount on duct tape. You see, by hook or by crook, we will solve that budget deficit thing.) I will tell you throughout the system, every week, we have blips in the system. There’s an issue with your telecom.”
(He’s not holding any punches, I think his words of wisdom go into the category of, Tough Love.)
To inject some sanity, he further stated, the pentagon also temporarily suspended military helicopter flights operating near Ronald Regan Washington airport after near-misses. (In January, 67 people were killed when a Black Hawk helicopter and an American Airlines Jet collided in the same air space.) He continued, Let's figure out how we can make sure travelers are safe in the [Ronald Reagan Washington National Airport] airspace, but also how we can continue to do our work to make sure we keep our nation's capital safe".
Well, I’d like to think that we in the New York City metro area are important too. With his insightful words of encouragement, I’m starting to get an idea how a rented mule feels.
I want to believe it’s safe to fly and lord knows I’m not the right person to judge. I’ve been known to get impatient on the runway and wonder, is it really that important for all three braking system on the plane to be operational. But for now, the solution seems to be: Cut the number of flights, slow down and have some patience. Good luck with that in the Northeast!
Lately what helps me deal with my impatience is this: In March we were finally able to return to earth, two astronauts that were stuck in the international space station. It was NOT air traffic controller related. They were supposed to be up there for an 8 day mission. (I can hear the theme song to Gilligan’s Island playing, “a three hour tour…”) Instead, they were up there for 286 days. Putting aside the screaming need for a new pair of underwear as well as pushing the limits of the best if used by dates on food, Uber Eats was a little out of range, those astronauts can now teach a Master Class on patience. So now when I’m sitting in the airport devouring what’s left of my finger nails, or in my car waiting for pot hole repairs to end, I just think about how close to home I actually am, the freshness of the clothes I’m wearing and how much my corndog on a stick is going to louse up the rest of my day. Hope I didn’t offend the corn or dog lobby.
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