Now You Are a Judo Student

When I got out of college my career as a public accountant crashed at take off.  Same basic problem with my next job as a forklift driver.  Casino Control Commission...a bad fit.  So my next employment opportunities brought me back to my Dad’s house in Bergen county for a while.  I was bored out of my mind and getting no exercise so I decided to take up Judo.  The guy who ran the place was a nice guy but really into Martial Arts.  Not only was he like a triple knot Judo Black Belt, but he was also a multi-level Black Belt in Karate. 

Judo is very much like wrestling, only instead of wearing the fitted Karate like Fight’n PJs, you wear a heavy coat-like garment.  The main purpose of the heavy coat is to enable you to easily grab, throw, and CHOKE your opponent.  (I always had an issue with the Choking part.  It just ran against some deep-rooted belief system inside of me - am I really going to potentially kill this guy?)

I was a pretty good wrestler in high school so I was able to have my way with just about every student in the class.  The teacher (Sensei) would constantly tell me, “Less Wrestling, More Judo.”  And I would respectfully acknowledge his instructions and then conveniently go back to what I’d been doing….because it was easy and I was always winning.

That all changed one day.   Sensei decided on this day that I’d be his rag doll, I mean practice partner.  I was about 6 feet tall and weighed about a buck85.  He was about 5 feet 5 inches tall and probably weighed less than 135 pounds.  In a short period of time I learned a really good rule to live by:  “Don’t go out of your way to p*ss people off that can easily hurt, kill, or maim you.”

When we locked up I had my hands on his upper arms.  It felt like I was holding onto two think chunks of Steel.  (At this point a lot of things are running through my head, like I’m about to fight a very angry Terminator cyborg…or more plainly, I’m about to get my *ss severely kicked.) I thought about screaming for help, but I was too busy fighting off losing my limbs and vital organs.   Sensei then grabbed the thick collar of my Fight’n PJs and began choking me.  (Unlike me, he had no problems whatsoever applying lethal force)   At a certain point I thought to myself, "Is this guy kidding?" When it became apparent, by the lack of oxygen going to my brain, that he wasn’t, I decided that a quick change in plans might be in order.  I thought I saw a path out and was trying desperately to twist out of his death grip.  (Think:  007 about to be put away by a much larger, stronger, more powerful opponent, but at the last moment he comes through with a trick move that saves the day…only my opponent was much smaller than me)

I’m out of my mind straining now and I think I can see daylight…until,.. the next thing I remember is Sensei smacking me continually on the back as I regain consciousness.  As I come to, Sensei is looking me straight in the face.  He says, “NOW You Are a Judo Student.”