BOGO, a Cautionary Tale

In my new covitine-fixed income situation I’m doing a yeoman’s job of working the weekly food sales circulars. I’ve become addicted to them (could be worse I suppose). Last week they had a brand of ice cream sandwich called “Fat Boy” on sale - BOGO! And nine to a box. They were very good and I went back twice.  No sense in taking a chance that the next shortage would be ice cream sandwiches.  And again, being that it’s BOGO, it’s almost like they’re paying me to take these exceptional ice cream sandwiches off their hands.  Bad as this sugar frenzy was, I doubled down.  After getting a tearless covid vaccine shot, I rewarded myself by purchasing a number of Ghirardelli chocolate bars.  In my defense they were BOGO too, and they were strategically placed right where I was waiting in line.  I interpreted it as sign from above.  Much like Moses’ response to Ramses question about why he’s trying to free the Hebrews in the movie, The Ten Commandments – “I Felt Compelled” to purchase an appropriate amount of chocolate products.  Or it could be that I’m weak, brow beaten by a sweet tooth and couldn’t help myself.  

Unfortunately, in my zeal to save a buck and find a reason to reward myself for doing the responsible thing, I miscalculated how my now atomic digestive track would respond to my gluttony.  After day three of this sugar fest, I can almost hear the conversations going on between my stomach and my brain.  My brain is saying, “You know you want it.”  And my stomach responds, “You’re kidding right?  You know what I’m going to do to this poor slob.”  Brain answers back, “You wouldn’t dare.”  Stomach, “Try me, you have 24 hours before I unleash a power so great, you’ll surely let my person go.”  (Again a shout out to Chuck Heston)  My brain and stomach have had this conversation a hundred times.  Mr. brain never learns his lesson and I suffer miserably.  Bad New / Good News:

In a sugar coma, I contacted my high school wrestling coach and alerted him not to count on me making 141 for this year’s Christmas tournament.

As for my vaccine, I have not grown a horn yet, but my new tail feathers are coming in nicely.  Stay Safe!